I AM A JERK..........Now I know what you are thinking: no you aren't, don't say that about yourself, why do you think that. Well it's not what I think, it's what I do. I jerk. I jerk when I relax, I jerk when I watch TV, I jerk when I am in bed, I have even been known to jerk while in restaurants and throw my food across the table. I AM A JERK.
Believe me this is not something I strive to be, it is just something that happened. One day, well actually one night, I started to jerk. Nothing bad, a little twitch in my arm now and then. Nothing I couldn't deal with. Then it began to progress. A larger twitch, more twitching each night then one night the twitches became full out jerks! You know the type you get when you first fall asleep and startle and wake yourself up? That's what I was doing but I wasn't falling asleep, I was fully awake. Over time the jerks went from every so often at night to several times a week, eventually they progressed to every night, then from every night into day time also and then to where I am now. Any time I relax I jerk.
Here let me give you a little idea of my jerking.
So jerking has kind of become second nature in this house. Wil has learned to live with it, even sleep through it. He has become quite the jokester about it and now refers to me as his "Jerk". So I figured if this is a blog about my life with autonomic dysfunction well I might as well call it as I see it. I am a jerk! Wil's jerk to be exact and that is just fine with me. Well maybe not having to deal with the actual jerking part but being called a jerk is okay.
So why do I jerk? Well it is called myoclonus and I am just lucky enough to have it as part of my autonomic nervous system disorder. Can they fix it? No. Can they treat it? Maybe. Do I want to take the kind of medications it takes to treat it? Probably not. The lead medications used to treat myoclonus are Clonazepam which causes loss of coordination and fatigue and has to be given at a fairly high doseage or the other choice is barbiturates which can treat it, but once again, you probably don't want to deal with the numerous side effects associated with these meds. Basically my choices are I can live with the jerking or take medications for it that cause fatigue, dizziness, loss of coordination, and would cause a tranquilizing effect to where I would live my life in more of a fog than I already do. Well the last time I checked I am already suffering from dizziness, lack of coordination, and chronic fatigue from the Dysautonomia so taking medications that would just add to these symptoms seems a little crazy to me. If there is one thing I have found over the last few years of living with trials of different medications it is that sometimes the cure is worse than the cause so I think for now I will just continue to be a jerk.
So there you have it. My story on why I am and will continue to be a jerk. I guess the bright side is I actually have an excuse for being one!
If you would like more information on Dysautonomia or Myoclonus you can check out the following sites:
